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This Week’s Issues: Meeting New People, Summer Fun In The Hamptons

Originally Posted: June 18, 2008

Jill Zarin

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You can't do it all every weekend, can you? Last weekend would be considered a quiet one. We went to the "soft" opening of Jeff and Linda Chodorow's new Kobe Club restaurant in East Hampton. They redecorated it a bit, added some knives to the ceiling (when you go, you will see what I mean) and their signature outdoor lamps and furniture and created a fabulous space. The food was similar to the NYC Kobe Club with little flags on all the steaks to identify their country of origin. Jeff and Linda are an incredible team and grateful we can consider them friends too.

Saturday was quiet as I stayed around the house in my PJ's while the cable man and pool man came over. There is never a moment of peace with a house. Something is always going wrong, right? We also had some friends stay over for the weekend. Saturday night we went out with a large group to Nick and Toni's and we ran into Paula Abdul there. She is adorable, funny and sweet. After talking with her a bit we discovered that she is a big fan of ours just as we are of hers. We exchanged numbers and I promised to call her when I ever get out to Los Angeles. This was her first time in the Hamptons and she loved it.

Jill Zarin and John Legend at a party for Missoni. Photo by PatrickMcMullan.com

Sunday was the crazy weather day. We stayed home and all of a sudden around 4 p.m. it got dark, rainy, windy, and very scary. It is a miracle no real damage was done that I know of to our house. The rest of the week we were home in the city. From trying on clothes at Zang Toi, one of my new favorite designers (he is so cute), going to yet another disappointing sample sale, cocktail party at La Viev, and meetings all week it was non-stop busy.

We have a very full house this weekend so Fresh Direct will be there by 4 p.m. for a delivery! What would we do without them? They save me time and money and don't disappoint.

Onto the questions this week, and if I haven't answered your question yet please feel free to re-email them.

Hi Jill!

I wrote yesterday but I was at work at the JCC and didn't have time to really explain who I am. My name is Shelley Smith, I love, love, love you and the show, but you are definitely the most real and my favorite!! I'm 57 but everyone thinks I'm at least ten years or more younger. That is so nice. I retired from teaching high school English, and now I work at the J and at Christel's, a boutique - plus I tutor and sub at times at a private school.

I grew up and still live in Omaha, NE, but I've always dreamed of living in Manhattan (was there again last June), living in a loft, and weekending in the Hamptons. I somehow feel I was dropped into the wrong life. I tend to have very good, expensive taste and sometimes just don't fit in here. I'm single, was engaged years ago and haven't been quite able to find the right guy. I'm pretty picky! I adore fashion, art, jewelry, and travel. How in the world can I meet the right guy? I've tried everything from fix-ups to Match.com and JDate. I read all the time, am pretty smart and funny (so everyone thinks) and am pretty attractive - I know you love to hook people up and give advice, so I thought this was worth a try - I really hope to hear from you!


Hi Shelly,

I wish I could give you the right answers in a just a few sentences but unfortunately it is much more complicated. I have many ideas for you but only can offer a few. You really didn't tell me much so I will give you ASK JILL advice from what I can read between the lines. I don't know if you have ever been married, have children, parents alive and what keeps you in New York. If you are really free to travel, than do it. "You only live once" is so cliche but SO true. Though I have my own regrets in my life, as we all do, I think to myself when faced with a decision like this - that I will only regret the things I DON'T do and not the things I DO. Love life, I don't know why you haven't chosen a mate and I would need to ask you lots of questions but I will tell you this, see a therapist. Find out what issues keep repeating themselves and work on them. It is never to late to improve ourselves and make us feel better. I don't think at your age it is so important to get married but more important to have great girlfriends and have fun. Mating, as I call it, is primarily to have children and raise a family. I assume you are past that stage. Don't get caught up in finding anyone, if it is meant to be he will find you. Stay on JDATE, my stepson met his wife there, and I know many other success stories.

Dear Jill,

Let me first start off by saying I love the show and you seem like such a wonderful and truly honest person. You may be just who I need to talk to. I am a 23-year-old energetic nanny in Washington State and I will be traveling with the family I care for, arriving on June 23, to their beach house in Westhampton. I will be there for 7 weeks, until Mid-August. I am single and vivacious. Just wondering how to get the most out of summer. What are the best spots to meet people my age? Any places I must go, or things I must do while in the Hamptons?


Dear Alyssa,
Lucky you! You have the opportunity to have a really fun summer. First, meet other nannys which should be easy if you are taking care of children. When you go to the beaches - seek them out - or if there is a camp - look there. Even go to church on Sunday to meet new local people to show you around. Unfortunately Westhampton is a little "west" of most of the Hamptons nightlife action. It is about 20 minutes to Southampton. You will need a car to get around. Good luck!

Hi Jill,

I am a huge fan of the show and have tried to reach you by the website. I
don't want to sound like a typical wacko who wants to get to know you but I
have to tell you your show has really opened my eyes to how important it is
to have women friends. I am 42 and married with two kids in San Francisco - I was compelled to write to you. Watching your show I am so delighted by you - I have always had great girlfriends [but] this is the first time in my life where I am without close girlfriends. I know there must be great women here in San Fran but the ones that I keep meeting are really into themselves [and they have no] sense of humor and I just can't relate. I want to tell you that I have two really close friends since school but they are out of state and we see each other a couple of times a year but there is nothing like best girlfriends in your town. I can't figure out how to make friends here. Jill, any advice?

Kim, San Francisco, CA

Dear Kim,

As you know already making real friends takes years. I am fortunate that I have kept friends that I've had since I was 11! Elisa and Jill are my childhood friends and I am so grateful I have them in my life. I can only share with you how I have added new friends. Since you spend most of your time with little children it is natural for the adults to connect through them. Take classes. Having shared interests makes relationships come easily. I used to take cooking classes at the New School. Though I didn't make any lasting friendships there, if I stayed with it, it probably would have happened. Let me know how it works for you! Good Luck!

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Guest (louise) from texas says::
Hi Jill, You are a genuine person. I liked you from the first show. You are someone I would be friends with. I think the Countess is a genuine person and I think Bethenney is okay as well. I would not give the other two the time of day. They are both phoney. Stay real. You have a great life. My sister wants to live in the Hamptons. I am a southern girl myself.
Jun 24, 2008 4:00 pm


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