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Green Dating – Are You An Ecosexual?

Originally Posted: July 12, 2007

Heather Buchanan

The "green" buzzword has infiltrated our consciousness in terms of what we eat and how we recycle and when we drive to the store or walk. Now it's even entered the equation of "Your carbon-footprint-free place or mine?" The question is: Are you an ecosexual?

A green date on the beach.

The concept of green dating used to be restricted to SWM seeks SWF to share life in yurt with long walks in protest rallies and vegan restaurants. But even if you don't throw around words in personal ads like "family oriented pagan feminist certification training" or quote Mary Oliver poetry you may still want to incorporate environmental consciousness into your love life. Check out places like Project GreenHouse in East Hampton which shows a whole new way to live green luxuriously top to bottom (greenhouse.yahoo.com) and remember it's all a learning process, and with dating green it is definitely the thought that counts.


Think Adam and Eve and go back to the garden. Instead of dinner and a movie, suggest a romantic walk in one of the many beautiful gardens we have here in the Hamptons. The LongHouse Reserve in East Hampton has acres of modern gardens and sculptures centered round an incredible lily pond which looks like something out of a Monet painting.

At the Bridge Gardens Trust in Bridgehampton you can encourage your love interest to literally stop and smell the roses, all 800 varieties of them, or sniff the relaxing wafting scent of lavender which populates the parterres. Or join the Group For The East End which is dedicated to conserving our natural habitat here for a Sunset Sagg Pond Paddle or a Natural History Hike of Montauk. If it's too far to ride her on your bike, impress your date by picking her up in your hybrid car like the brand new Lexus GS 450 luxury sport sedan.


Interestingly enough one of the worst polluting offenders is metallic gift wrapping and packaging which just get tossed. Crissy Trask in her book "It's Easy Being Green" suggests if you are going to give your new love a gift, wrap it in something re-usable like a decorative linen napkin or leave it out in the open as a surprise. And even less materialistic is to give a gift which is a membership in an eco-conscious organization or even an act of service - how about a fantastic massage with a naturally moisturizing grape seed oil.

Go green with flowers as well, buying locally grown seasonal posies which are bursting with color at the local farm stands and florists. And even if you are making the most important romantic purchase of your life, namely an engagement ring, consider the ultimate high end recycling, buying an antique or estate ring.


Think about not only all the time and money we gals spend getting ready for a date but what we are putting on our bodies and in the air, ground, and water (this goes for men's products as well.) Even if you're not crunchy granola nature girl who comes out of the woods in Birkenstocks with a daisy in her hair, you can still pay attention to the beauty products you use.

Living green can mean luxury. Photo Project GreenHouse

We've come a long way since harsh chemical hair dyes but still need to look at the fine print on product ingredients we use every day from shampoo to moisturizer to make up to see if they use animal products or synthetic preservatives or chemicals among other things. You can always look for the Certified Organic label or check out Provisions in Sag Harbor and Second Nature in East and Southampton as well as Naturopathica Spa in East Hampton. For more information on ingredients you can also check out www.SaffronRouge.com which does a good job of explaining what to look for in your products for your and the planet's health.


Any smart gal or guy knows that if you create a bed with the most luxurious and soft sheets that feel like a smooth silky cocoon, you'll want to cozy up. There is a lingering notion that organic sheets would be some sort of hemp which feels like grandma's wool. Not true of the next generation. Coyuchi bedding and towels are featured at the Project GreenHouse and these luxurious products are made from 100% organic cotton sustainably grown and hand picked in India.

Be sure also that you are using a laundry detergent which is phosphate-free and skip chlorine bleach which is harmful when released into the environment. And make sure to add the fluff such as the eco-friendly Pacific Coast Feather Company which makes comfy comforters, pillows, and mattress covers with a new line of products from Ingeo fiber under the Natural Living name made from 100% renewable resources, including corn starch. Ingeo is also added with wool and cotton to make super soft throws for Faribault Mills.

And for love over thirty one of the great blessings in a green bedroom is the dimmer light which is not only far more flattering, it saves energy as well. Talking of saving energy, anyone who thinks air conditioners are sexier than ceiling fans clearly have never seen "Body Heat."

In a single day the average person uses up to 183 gallons of water for drinking, cooking, washing, flushing, and showering according to the US Environmental Protection Agency. So I have two words for you – shower together.


Another huge aspect of being green is spirituality. Friends with benefits used to be the kids next door who had a trampoline not sex without emotion. Being green means not only focusing our attention on consciously caring for the planet, we need to consciously care for each other. How we conduct ourselves in relationships is just as important as how we relate to the environment. All too often people carelessly toss out a relationship with no more care than tossing a can out a car window. All of the research on the environment shows that toxicity travels whether it is through water, the earth, or the air.

Toxic boyfriends and girlfriends spread that same negative energy through those who they have hurt who in turn can hurt others. You can't care more about free range chicken than free range relationships. There must be a respectful treatment of quality of life and space issues. Whether you're shopping for your home, office, or the love of your life -- the key is to buy products of quality that will last a long time.

And best yet, do you realize that you are doing green research right now and saving a tree by getting your information online here at Hamptons.com.

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