As someone who takes falling in love literally – I have the scars on my knees to prove it – I can vouch for that intoxicating feeling you get from the romantic rollercoaster. You know the signs: you start shaving your legs every day, you dig out your Andrea Bocelli CD, you find screaming babies charming and start thinking about names.

What we need to realize is that our bodies are actually experiencing a chemical phenomena, an infusion of what is called the infatuation chemical or PEA phenyl ethylamine which acts like an amphetamine that makes new lovers feel energetic and euphoric (and explains the loss of appetite.) It's addictive. The problem is that we are not making great long term partner decisions when PEA is coursing through our brains and once that buzz wears off we often ask ourselves, "What was I thinking?" Just as we are addicted to the love drug we also hold tenaciously to our love stories. Those sweet stories often give bad advice if you're in it for the long haul.

MYTH 1: "Opposites Attract"

While we may appreciate the comedic potential of the control freak neatnik girl falling for the super slob guy you just know that the wet towel on the floor issue is going to bring down the relationship when they move in together. If he's a totally meticulous planner and she is a free spontaneous spirit, the Europe trip where he presents the carefully researched itinerary of planned activities will drive her nuts when she wants to just rent a car and drive to a different country and see what they discover. He's Catholic and she's Jewish but it doesn't matter because neither one is particularly religious until they have a baby boy and battle over a baptism or bris.

Committed couples will ultimately live together, travel together, and perhaps raise children, and if they are not on the same page about who they are and how they want to live, battles will ensue. Matchmakers admit that they look for someone with a similar background and upbringing and present lifestyle to make a lasting match for their client. It pays to take the time to really explore in a new relationship where the common ground lies.

MYTH 2: "If You're Really In Love It Doesn't Matter"

"I'm so in love with Hubert that I will move to the French countryside where I know no one, don't speak the language, and am actually allergic to lavender but I'm sure I'll be happy because I'm madly in love." This New York City PR executive did not last long. Fed up with entertaining his relatives every weekend and being certain they were saying nasty things about her in a language which after six months she still only spoke "un petit peu."

Another mature successful woman fell for a young bon vivant guy who was utterly captivating as he gave her a peppermint foot rub at the end of her day and read her Rumi poetry but much less so when he quit his bartending job and was still unemployed months later with little ambition to do more than check out five star hotels.

Whatever the habits your mate had when you met them that didn't bother you - like being constantly late, burning every meal, never paying for anything, or endless hours of TV watching - suddenly become much more apparent and grating as time goes on. Love takes place in the real world and in real time, and basically all the small stuff does matter.

MYTH 3: "He/She Can Change"

While everyone has free will and the power to optimize their life, all too often we take on love partners who are projects. We tend to think that with our love and support they will change into who we want them to be. If you are dating after the age of twelve this has little hope. As time goes on our character traits and personalities become more solidified both on the positive and negative end. How many times to you hear stories of someone who falls for someone only to realize that their drinking issue isn't a little problem but a big one or their gambling addiction or their fear of intimacy or inability to stay faithful. Somehow we believe we can swoop in with a big S on our chest and save them.

While the love and support of a partner can truly transform a life for the better, the infatuation with a "bad news" partner can also bring you down. It's a human condition to want to help, there are luckily plenty of support groups and organizations set up to do so. If you've done the work on yourself to be in a good place you owe it to yourself to find someone on the same evolved level. If you feel the need to help, contribute to or volunteer at a charity, don't date one.

MYTH 4: "'Til Death do us Part"

When you look back on old love letters (okay, I'm dating myself by talking about a time that was pre-email) how often do you see phrases such as "I'll love you forever," "Love always," and "You are the only one who will ever have my heart," and you barely remember the guy or gal's name? New love is so delicious you want to believe that it is the one and only and will last forever. You cannot imagine looking at this divine creature in front of you and thinking anything other than "I can't live without you."

While the sacred marriage vow of "Til death do us part" is a wonderful goal, in more than fifty percent of the cases it is not achieved. It seems more realistic to say, as they do in certain ancient pagan ceremonies to vow to stay together, "As long as the love shall last."

All relationships take work and change and morph as do the people in it. Luckily there are many different forms of love, and even if the intoxicating new love wears off, building a trusted life together with a supportive partner also leads to another deeply binding love which produces chemicals described as "mental comfort food." Better to realize there is no one size fits all love but instead a deeply complex and nuanced connection which cannot be dictated from outside but nurtured by the two partners on the inside.

So this fall, be open to the yummy experience of "falling" in love but be sure to wear your emotionally protective knee pads.