Cheryl Hines. Photo by PatrickMcMullan.com

Did you on that rainy Sunday last week find yourself tuning in to that glittery parade of self congratulatory backslapping they call the Emmys like Jen did?

Now tell me, weren't you just tickled to learn that purple is the new black? Just toss out that fits-you-oh-so-perfect Donna Karan little black number you bloodied your elbows for at Super Saturday – not to mention the toes you mashed to get "that dress". If you believe Billy Bush, Nancy O'Dell, and – ugh - Joan Rivers, we are all off to sea in a perfect aubergine boat.

Just as we were ready to take a scissors to every black schmatta, salvation and sanity came as we saw one of our East End neighbors on the screen and heard their name and vitals broadcast to millions.

Usually, when this happens its one of our bar pals doing a perp walk or one of our former "we love ya/we hate ya" BFFs (not) who ratted out a boyfriend 10 years after he dumped her and was now in a tabloid shrieking D-I-V-O-R-C-E which to her spelled M-O-N-E-Y!

No, this was the real deal, the dumb and dumber television folks proved themselves not so addled as we thought and gave Hamptons' fave Alan Alda a well-deserved EMMY for his portrayal of the Machiavellian Arnold Vinnick on NBC'S The West Wing. Alda, whom we believe should get one of these every year for keeping us night owls company in the wee hours, can stop by our stand and squeeze our peaches anytime.

Then just as we began to tire once again of the purple clad, bosom enhanced vixens on parade, our darling Jon Stewart of Sag Harbor - oops, we didn't say that – snagged not one but two of the top honors for his brilliant news anchor turn on The Daily Show. Feeling that justice had been served, we kicked off our Fendi peep toe spikes and laid ourselves down carelessly as we were not wearing a bejeweled, upswept, hair-pinned, lacquered, mummy-like do that Billy Bush seemed to like. It's okay Billy Boy, we've got Alan and Jon on speed dial.

As you can tell, we like to make our own fashion decisions and we've already decided we are hopping over to Intermix or Saks Fifth Ave, whichever we see first to get on the list for Gwen Stefani's new handbag collection. Though priced a little higher, $395-$700, then her last venture with Le Sport Sac king Tim Schifter, we can definitely attest that they are worth skipping a months worth of lattes.

Tim is once again guiding Ms. Gwen and helped show the 33 pieces to a select few –including moi - prior to their hitting the store December 1st. The reason for the low key entry – Gwen and husband Gavin Rossdale's three month old baby boy, Kingston. Gwen just can't bear to be on the road flogging the line and not be with her boys. Gwen honey, don't worry, these babies are going to fly out of the stores.

While we're on hot topics, let's talk about Scarlett Johansson who we hear is already on the palatial yacht of one of her favorite designers Alberta Ferretti. They're anchored at the pier next to Piazza San Marco in Venice. Miss. Scarlett will be attending the Venice Film Festival where her new flick "The Black Dahlia" is to be screened. Word is her cabin mate is the movie's co-star Josh Hartnett.

Alan Alda. Photo by PatrickMcMullan.com

Hmmmmm! Alberta Feretti dresses you and Josh Hartnett undresses you, yeah, we could dig that.

Just got an invite and now we know where the boys are or we should say, where the men will be Saturday afternoon. So we have penciled into our calendar a drop-by at the super chic Nello Summertimes for the unveiling of Harmont & Blaine's Fall/Winter Collection which will benefit one of our favorite organizations Health People. We know from strolling by their colorful store on Job's Lane in Southampton there are always lots of cool looking guys shopping for that preppy with an Italian look that says "yeah, I hang at the Maidstone Club but you might catch me at Cain". So we'll be heading over to 136 Main Street to view "the collection" and their hottie models.

Note to self: Nello's will continue to be open Fridays and Saturdays for dinner. Guess we'll have to call it "Nello Fall, Winter, Spring, Summertimes"!

Hopefully, we'll connect at Nello's and take our new catch down the street to see Chris Foster's portraits of 60's rock n' roll stars that have never been shown before like Tina Turner when she was still with Ike, Elton John with a receding hairline pre-wig days, and our still heartthrob Rod Stewart.

We say you can always judge a man by his taste in rock n' roll so we will be watching carefully while we're sipping champagne and schmoozing with all the rock groupies at Bravura Art and Objects on Nugent Street. If things don't click, we'll slip next door and treat ourselves to one of Alissa Smith's little frocks. We'll feel better!

As we are always open to opportunity and looking for legal ways to shall we say enhance our lives, we've put the Monday Night Oscar Movies on our crowded calendar for September 4. They'll be screening the ultimate handbook on snaring the big one "How to Marry a Millionaire". Listen we need all the pointers we can get even if it comes from 50 years ago. The legendary Lauren Bacall will be on hand to hopefully show a few tips besides whistling.

Then it's off to the Big Apple to take a bite out of fashion during Olympus Fashion Week. I'm sure there'll be a few tid bits to share.

Until next week…