Southampton - Think about your personal style, and then create an environment that suits your needs and personality, and then think about those of your house mate or partner, and undertake to decorate with taste and compromise to make you both happy.

First Things First: You First
It's your home. You can have anything - you just can't have everything. Creating a home that truly says "You" starts with being able to identify which styles you would like to live with and then building within those parameters. Not slavishly, mind you. Most of us have taste parameters with soft boundaries that can be stretched to fit a few complimentary styles.

Good taste and a happy design result always require thoughtful editing. Image courtesy of prodesigninteriors.com

If It Weren't For Bad Taste He'd Have No Taste At All
Everyone has a sense of style, for better or worse. One of the biggest obstacles to creating a home that looks like "You" is the lurking dread that your taste will be found to be gauche, rube-like or just plain ugly. This unresolved apprehension results in a kind of "I dunno" default position. Vague is not a viable style solution.

You won't necessarily get a satisfying result if you abdicate your decor decisions to a designer either. A designer won't be able to give you a version of your vision if you don't know what it is.

Determining your style doesn't mean figuring out which tidy little box fits the definition of your taste. This is too much like "color within the lines." Your home décor preferences will be a reflection of who you are as much your personal taste, almost in the same way that form follows function. We are all complex. Very few people live entirely in one style category.

It's just as important to understand what you don't like as much as what you do. Having a basic understanding of why you like or dislike certain things will help you be better able to grasp how to translate myriad options into a style you can call your own.

One of many questions you should ask yourself is do you want a serene retreat or an entertainment Mecca for you and your friends? Image courtesy of julianinterior.com

Few of us suffer from lack of cultural exposure. Our horizons can be easily expanded with a little thought and diligence. Presumably, our now more educated taste sensibilities will be improved along the way.

The best bet for both of you is to thumb through interior design magazines. The goal is realization and clarification of your preferences. One thing to be on the look out for is commonality between styles wherever it exists.

Starts with being able to identify which styles you would like to live with. Image courtesy of www.momoy.com

What Do You Mean By "Ambience"?

Answer these questions for keys to your comfort.

 • Do you want a serene retreat or an entertainment Mecca for you and your friends?

 • Do you love the grandeur of formal settings as part of your personal aspirations for greater things?

 • Does the term "controlled environment" with not so much as a dog hair out of place, equal true bliss?

 • Are you happiest munching cookies while lounging on big comfy sofas that never show spills or spots?

Good taste and a happy design result always require thoughtful editing. Notice how your furnishings relate to the architectural style of your home. Think in terms of dressing your home appropriately for its setting, in the same way you dress yourself for an event. As such, some style directions, however loved they may be, are unworkable. Imagine Victorian red flocked wallpaper and ornately carved dark wood, overstuffed and tufted furniture in a light, airy clean-lined modern structure. It's a cringe-worthy thought.

Dressing Your Home – First The Pants, Then The Shoes
Regardless of style, your furniture is still going to have to be arranged in a functional way. Take a good look at the way each room serves its intended purpose, or not, to determine what needs to be addressed.

 • Do you have a conversation area in the living room?

 • Are there a variety of tables or surfaces conveniently located next to where you might sit?

 • Are there enough light sources? Are they placed where you need them?

These kinds of details are the bones of your design scheme. Without an organized structure that answers to your comfort and needs, you are only storing your furniture, not living with it.

Color Me Happy
The marriage of your furnishings needs a container suitable to the desired end result. Wall color is key. Obviously, if you want to create a tranquil environment, screaming yellow will not be your first choice. In the same way, make sure your existing wall colors won't spoil the big picture you are creating.

You may want a more restful, calming effect for your bedroom. Image courtesy of atrium.com

While you may want a more restful, calming effect for your bedroom, you might also want a little more jazz for the living room. Avoid the sensation that you are going to another country each time you walk to another room, by creating continuity. One sure way to accomplish this is to use the same color for all your door and trims, but don't stop there.

You need elements that will unify the spaces within the line(s) of sight. Very often, an entry foyer opens to the living room, dining room and the kitchen beyond. A carpet or a color that's picked up from the upholstery or drapery and carried through these rooms achieves this. Wallpaper works well too. Sisal or sea grass offers the twin benefits of neutral color and texture. These woven grasses work with most home styles. Creating unity is especially important if, as a bargaining chip, one or both of you have a room of your own to decorate to taste.

Can This Marriage Be Saved?
He likes Early American. She likes French Deco. Deal breaker? Due diligence has been accomplished only to find that your respective styles will look awful together. Take heart. There are a few ways to handle this situation besides moving into a duplex.

Your Dilemma Has Become Fashionable
You and your beloved are in luck. The current design trends lean more toward mixing styles and periods rather than for rooms that are one style only.

What makes different styles work together is relatedness. A curve for a curve so to speak. Make a game of re-imagining potential furniture candidates so that all you see is the color, shape, size, texture and/or design. Look for the similarities between objects and edit your choices according.

You can have a piece that seems like a random selection, if you create an overall sense of balance and order within the structure of the room design. Symmetry is good. A few items with deliberately straight lines adds balance and interest if there are a lot of curves in your composition, or vice versa.

What makes different styles work together is relatedness. Image courtesy of kabmurungraya.net

More Good Orderly Directions
Pairs are important. You should make sure you have some. Two pairs are enough, three pairs start to veer towards that "Noah's Ark" look. Have only one of everything and your room will look like a furniture store closeout sale. Scale is important too. Don't use a tiny end table next to a huge over scaled sofa. You don't have to have matching end tables as long as you keep the "How does it relate?" question in mind. The same is true for lamps, but you are better off if most of your table and floor lighting is at a similar height. Otherwise you will get an up-and-down-and-up-again lighting effect that's really agitating.

Revisit Your Homework
While doing your initial research, such as it was, where did your preferences overlap those of your partner? Expand on this where you can.

For example if one of you likes mission style furniture, and the other prefers clean lined modern, a compromise might be found in Shaker furniture, and a general under-furnished, less is more sensibility.

Equally, if one likes a no fuss, no maintenance "Rustic" look while the other one prefers more traditional European styling, try a comfortable French Country sofa upholstered in colors and textures that don't show dirt or spills as a possible joint answer.

Field Trip
It's time to shop and you should do it together. Building a beautiful home environment is a process as well as an adventure. Neither one of you should miss out or be left out. Flexibility, compromise and a little "quid pro quo" can go a long way towards keeping the action moving forward and all parties satisfied and living happily together.

Two pairs are enough, and scale is important too. Image courtesy of affordableinteriordesigners.com