Southampton - You're engaged and you've let the world know it. Now it's time for the wedding planning to begin. And while it's extremely tempting to jump in the car and start scouting out venues, planning a proper event requires time, patience, and lots of energy. But first, you have to do your homework.

It's all about compromise. Black-tie or casual beach? Consider both. (jimsformalwear.com)

Different Tastes
What that means is you, as a couple, have to first figure out what type of wedding you'd like to host. If from the get-go you are both in sync in regard to all of the details - including how many guests to have, time of year, night or day, casual or formal, size of wedding party, décor, etc., then that's fabulous. But how often does that happen? You and he might be a match made in heaven, but it's entirely possible that you have different tastes, which will translate to different ideas on what your wedding will be like.

So when doing homework, you have to figure out where your tastes match and where they differ. Keep in mind it's perfectly fine if you don't agree on many aspects of the wedding planning - you are different people. What's critical when orchestrating an event of this magnitude however is that you avoid conflict by laying it all out on the table in advance, and then negotiating what's most important to each of you.

Write It Out
One of the best ways to do this is to make a list of everything that relates to the wedding: location, date, time, décor, cuisine, entertainment, fashion, guests, ceremony, transportation, photography, videography. Then make four columns - one with your name, one with his, another for your joint decision, the last for who will handle which task. As you go over every aspect individually, note your ideas on each column. If they are completely at odds - for example, he wants a small, intimate affair, but you want a big blowout - this is where you will have to negotiate. Don't worry if you can't find common ground right away. If you absolutely can't agree, leave this area for further discussion at a later date. But if you can come to an agreement, note what it is on the third column. Then decide who will handle that particular task - it may be the two of you together, it may be just one of you.

What's most important to each of you – live music, such as the popular Dexter Lake Club Band, or a DJ? (dexterlakeclubband.com)

No Deal Breakers
So let's say you have worked through the list but there are several items that you clash on. He wants a black-tie wedding, and you want a beach party, for example. There are ways to compromise. For instance, you could have the ceremony at the beach, and then have a formal, black tie gala later that day. Or supposing most of your guests live in the outer boroughs, but his are in Montauk. Hosting the wedding in a mid-island venue such as Larkfield Manor in East Northport is a perfect compromise.

Be open-minded and creative, for every aspect of the wedding can be negotiated, but keep this in mind: ask yourselves what is most crucial to you. So if you would like a DJ but he's had his heart passionately set on a band, if it's not all that important to you, consider bending in that direction. This is a great way to work together for your mutual benefit - the wedding of your dreams. And it's a fabulous way to start off on the path to a healthy marriage: by communicating, negotiating and compromising.