A planner such as My Wedding Organizer by Sara Miller and Karen Berman, $29.95, is a practical way to plan your wedding.

Southampton - A wedding proposal is one of the most exciting events in a woman's life, so congratulations on your engagement. Your lives are about to change and the weeks and months ahead will be exhilarating. So the first thing to do is – nothing. Seriously, just take the time to relish in this joyful period of your life with your fiancé, your family and friends.

Take A Step Back
Putting together a wedding, as I'm sure you've heard, requires time. Yet I know way too many brides who rush into their wedding planning without much of a plan at all. They start shopping for favors online, hurry to book a venue, visit countless wedding salons, trying on gown after gown - much of this can result in a stressed out bride-to-be running in all directions, with the wedding itself mirroring a hodge-podge of poor decisions.

Chat It Up
So once you've fully basked in the glow of your recent engagement, start talking - to your fiancé. Your wedding should reflect who you are as a couple, so you need to discuss together what sort of wedding you'd like to host. The best way to do this is by asking each other numerous questions.

 • How do you feel about a black tie wedding?
 • Is an informal affair at a vineyard or beachfront location more suitable to your style?
 • What time of year would you prefer for the wedding?
 • How large are your families and how extensive would you want your guest list to be (include work friends or close friends only? Invite your great aunt once removed, or keep the party intimate with just immediate family?).
 • Do you want your wedding to be a hometown affair or are you willing to travel a bit?

And of course, two of the most important questions of all:

Who will pay for the wedding and what are the budget restrictions?

A vineyard wedding at a local winery such as Bedell can be elegant, yet informal. (Peter Salva)

Create A Budget
Keep this in mind: A typical wedding on Long Island these days runs just over $55,000. Is that too much or is the sky the limit? By far, the most expensive portion of your wedding will be the wedding venue, generally followed by entertainment (band or DJ), photographer and videographer, flowers/décor, invitations and transportation. In addition, you'll have to purchase a wedding gown and tuxedo (plus shoes and accessories), favors, bridal attendant gifts, hire ceremony musicians, maybe order a custom wedding cake, retain a hair/makeup artist; then there are wedding rings to purchase, and a rehearsal dinner and post wedding brunch to organize.

Sounds overwhelming already? I always suggest to newly engaged brides my two top tips: purchase a wedding planner right from the beginning. A good planner includes calendars, charts and other important fill-in-the-blanks, so that every aspect of your wedding is organized right from the get-go. In addition, hire a human wedding planner.

Plan With Assistance
"Ideally, a wedding planner should enter the scene as soon as you get engaged," says Jill Gordon, of jill gordon celebrate in East Hampton. "I often see couples who get themselves in trouble the moment they sign a contract for a venue - they haven't broken down a budget, they fall in love with a location and then step into a situation where they can't possibly bring all of the pieces together within their range. A planner can help find a location for your event," keeping the budget in mind plus all of the other elements that go into the wedding - style, theme, season, desired location. "That said, I hear from brides and families at all stages of planning, particularly once they reach a point of feeling overwhelmed," she adds.

Don't allow that to happen to you. Take your time in asking each other all of the important questions before anything else. The answers will dictate all of the details that follow, and ensure smooth sailing as you move forward, towards the big day.